The End: Clarifications

Certain aspects of my last post were widely discussed on Tumblr, aspects which, when I wrote them, I had no idea of the weight they would pull in the responses.

I'll address those most common first and get them out of the way: I have no problem with the Janites having their own rules about their clergy. As I pointed out to some, I rather rigorously defended their right to restrict their clergy to women on Glenn's blog. I have absolutely no quibble there - they may make as merry as they please for it is their own group, their own space, to do with as they please. With this, I have never had issue, and never likely will.

Another brought up consistently is that everyone - all the cultures, all the religions - borrow from each other. Yes, I fully acknowledge that, and I am aware that every one of them has done so. One doesn't make it in the world as a reader without hearing some version of "there are only X number of stories in the world" to know that things get recycled, or grow up perpetually seeking the ever-elusive religion that will finally feel right without realizing that each borrows from the other at some time or another.

Other than those points, there was a lot of exception taken to my doubts. I was thrown out of a group unceremoniously and told after the fact that because I had said I was going to try to incorporate more gender neutral content on my blogs that I didn't qualify as a Filianist anymore. That because I connected to a Divine source of Love, and not a female image, I'm not part of the faith anymore.

The Deanic/Janite website/blog has been a pretty big part of my devotional life for a while now. I get notifications for updates and read every entry. I use prayers from that website, and had been beginning to incorporate the Rite of Sacrifice into my life - the Deanic Ladies webgroup was a great aid in getting me started and helping me past hurdles. No, I was never a 'full member' of the Janites, yet I had toyed with asking about priestesshood just to see what could be learned and further understood.

My blog post came about as the final straw in a long line of concerns and doubts that I'd swallowed or explained away to myself concerning Deanism. Questions I'd asked were never properly answered, always redirected to other issues, or gave rise to further concerns. And it seems my blog post was the final straw for a lot of others, as so many have decided to withdraw from the online Deanic community for a time until it all blows over. So I too, will have to blow over with all the commotion.

It came at a good time at least, as I had already finished creating and posting the images for the calendar year and a good number of verses (even if they didn't get posted on every location). This will be, at the very least, a long hiatus. I don't know if I'll come back from it; if I'll leave Filianism altogether and continue seeking, or if I'll come to a new understanding. I'm taking a break from religion for now, for the first time in a very long time.

It'll be an interesting experience at least. Hope the online community can get back on its feet and forgive me and others for disturbing them. I suppose I should have moved on sooner. I wish you all well, and thank you so much for receiving my small contribution to the community so well: though I'm stepping out, always know the images shared here and Tumblr are yours to keep and share and post as you will.



My Struggle With Deanism

There has been a bit of a debate going on in Deanic blogs lately, centering on the idea that the Filianic Scriptures were only written for those in all female matriarchal societies - which, by this logic, should exclude all of humanity from using the Scriptures, unless there are a few areas of women living like Amazons who would like to use them - and that men will not gain from using our Scriptures. Men are to wait until the Mother brings to light a new path for them, and refrain from barging in on the Faith.

And I get it. I get that a lot of men are awful people. I get wanting to have a separate space away from Patriarchy and its ideals. But I'm coming to realise that Deanism is not that thing. There’s a lot of glorifying what women have been given, parroting the same things that the patriarchal religions have been saying a long time, and they don’t ring True, they just ring Culture. Culture that’s attached and muddled the message, the same way people say it has with the original Abrahamic faiths that aided and abetted the spreading of patriarchy throughout the western world.

Women aren’t necessarily more spiritual, more inherently near the Divine, inclined to seek the Divine, than men are, but we love to spread that message around, in all the faiths. Women aren’t necessarily ‘feminine’ and naturally inclined to dresses, lipstick, and mild manners, politeness and gentleness with the small creatures of the world, but we still spread that one around.

That’s what gets me most about this Feminine Faith. We try to say it’s a woman’s space, that it’s about empowering and uplifting women in a culture that’s oppressed us for thousands of years - but all it’s really done is borrowed the Pelasgian creation myth and took the rest from patriarchy. Let's take a look shall we?

  • Deanism freely copies all the manners a woman should have from our culture: mild mannered, meek, seeking grace and beauty in our lives, the need to tap into that 'mother's love' all women supposedly own;
  • Deanic pages and blogs are plastered with pink, lace, women in long dresses and long hair, posts encourage others to purchase pink things to embrace and display 'femininity'
  • Many groups and important clergy members encourage or blatantly instruct that women shall cover their hair to approach God;
  • All the “naturally spiritual, born closer to God than men” talk is fully present, especially in arguing that men have little use for the Scripture;
  • The Scriptures even borrow the Communion and basic worship service from Christianity wholesale:

    17. Then She stood at the great altar and took up a wheaten loaf, and spoke, saying: 18. “Like to the grains, My body was cut down by the scythe of death; and like to the grains did it rise anew. 19. For I am the ear of grains that is reaped in silence.” 20. She said: “Like to the grains my body was broken between the stones of death.” And saying thus, She broke the bread between Her hands. 21. And She gave the fragments of the bread to the spirits of earth’s children, saying: “Here is My body that is broken for you. Eat My body, that you may be one with My body, and may be one body in Me.”

    22. Then She poured out Her Spirit from hands into a great chalice, and Her Spirit lay as wine within the chalice. 23. She said: “Even as you have offered Me bread in sacrifice, so I give you the bread of My body; and as you have poured out libations of wine to Me, so I pour out the eternal libation of My eternal Spirit.”
What is all this but what patriarchy has given us? What is all this but what Christianity prescribed for women - that they be meek and gentle and loving, quiet and calm without profanity, dressed modestly and covering her hair to pray or prophesy? What is all this but following the idea that women love girly things - pink, lace, dresses, cute baby animals, chocolate, shopping - that society has set aside as girly?

This doesn't feel like female empowerment. This doesn't feel like a space to celebrate being a woman, in all its many variations. This is celebrating the same cookie cutter that was long ago fashioned and little changed since it was set out on the counter for us by the man of the house.

The Holy Mythos - the first section of the Scriptures, beginning at Creation and ending with the Resurrection of the Daughter and Her installation in Heaven - is beautiful. The entire idea behind the Daughter's Sacrifice is so vastly different from the Jesus myth, coming to save us from the bonds of time and space, from the natural break between the finite and the infinite, rather than to take on the punishment for our sins in some kind of twisted divine retribution for our wrongdoings. The method of resurrection is different, where the Mother comes after Her Daughter and breaks apart the netherworld to get to Her and bring Her back to life - I believe that this is a dual effort, the Daughter going to that place where our souls were stuck after the body had ended, and She came into that realm then forced Her way back out with Her Mother, freeing our souls to return to Heaven.

Much of the Minor Scriptures are also beautiful. The best part is that you don't have to grapple with creepy verses that either seem to indirectly or directly endorse awful viewpoints, like slavery, or condemning LGBT+, or the subordination of women to men. You don't have to wade through genealogy lists or wonder how this verse was mistranslated. It's beautiful, and I love it - and I can't stand the fact we spend time focused on the same things we would be if we were all regular Christians. That we're still focused on being socially feminine, meek creatures striving to be the ideal 50s housewife with an ordered home and perfect makeup, waiting for hubby to come home from work, instead of using this feminine mystery religion to embrace and accept all the forms of womanhood, all the forms of being a woman in this world, the ways where we don't like being girly and pink but are no less feminine because we are also women.

I don't get it. There have been ups and downs in my attachment to this faith over the years, as of course there are bound to be - I've been a part of this faith and community for going on four years at this point. That's not an awful long time; for me, it's the longest I've stuck with a religion in my whole life. I really want to stay with this one. But if it's just glorifying society's definition of women, rather than women's definition of women, I'm not sure I want to stay.

I changed a lot on my tumblr blog, partly for this reason, partly because I brought a lot of my interests in the law of attraction, angels, and energy work into it to begin with. I've changed the direction of that blog (as it is more active) and how I want to represent the faith in my sphere. For me, the Divine is neither Female nor Male; I connect straight away to a feeling of a grand loving energy in the universe, a brilliant light that is part of us. The stars and galaxies remind me of the Divine, and that is where I'll go with the blog. I love the idea of Time and Space and the finite and infinite natures represented in the Scriptures. That's where I'll go with the blog. But I'll definitely be working on incorporating more of a 'gender neutral' in the content if I can, moving away from the standard feminine pieces.

But I know that means very little. My blog is small, and never has much by way of words on them. For anyone who has followed my internet presence in the Deanic/Filianic community, this is a veritable outpouring of words unlike anything I've ever posted before. I don't even know if anyone else sees anything of what I've written as a problem too. I had to try, though - I had to put all these thoughts out there and see if I were not truly alone.

I'd love others' input on how they see these things. If I'm just overthinking something, if I'm not alone, whatever your thoughts are - just. . . . let me hear you.



Images for the Spring Months! I was very late in making these this year - we're already getting through Hera - but it was my last term at college, so it was a very hectic Spring for me!! Who knows what the Summer shall bring. . . .



A celebration of flowers and the spring - Floralia is the Janite name for the day.

I'm really enjoying using the new font on PicFont, used on these images, and gradient - the words need something more to them than a single solid colour!! XD


Lady Day

Lady Day, celebrated so soon after the start of the year is a celebration of Our Lady returned to us, bringing the Way of Heaven to us on Earth. We have celebrated Her return to us and the freeing of all souls from separation from the Mother; now Our Lady brings us gentle wisdom for navigating this world and remembering Her in all things.



The New Year has arrived! The year of Sai Vikhë, 3337 has dawned!



A day out of time - the end of the year. I really like this photo, with the Persephone symbolism of the pomegranate, coupled with the clock and the reminder of time behind it - it seems perfect for this day beyond time.

There is a lot of discussion and beautiful meaning behind the sacrifice of the Daughter. In writing on the meaning of sacrifice in Filianism and Deanism, Race MoChridhe illustrates what the Daughter does for us perfectly:
    The Daughter’s sacrifice is ultimate because the effect of her descent was to bring Her Mother’s Light into every corner of the cosmos—inseparably to bond the nature of every created thing back to the divine nature. She is the love that holds the stars within their courses (The Crystal Tablet, v. 34), and in this way is Herself become the quintessence—the fifth element that binds the other four together to make manifest existence possible.

    Hanged upon the pillar of the world, She is become that pillar, replacing its being with Her own like minerals replace bone in a fossil, so that all creation hangs now upon Her. (Remembering, of course, that the Mythos expresses in the language of time truths which are outside of time, such that we should not imagine that there was ever a time when the cosmos was not constituted thus.) To bond a thing indissolubly with God’s own being is, of course, the greatest possible “making sacred” of it, and thus the greatest possible sacrifice.

    It is not that we have nothing as valuable as a divine child to give up, but that we cannot possibly make anything more sacred than She has already made it. Americans might think of the words of Abraham Lincoln when, in his famous Gettysburg Address, he declared of that battlefield where so many had been slain that, “We are come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting place… But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far beyond our meagre power to add or detract.”

    So must we say of the whole cosmos in the light of the Daughter’s sacrifice.
In a very strict, thealogical sense, then, there is only one, and has only ever been one, and can only ever be one sacrifice, and that is the sacrifice which the Daughter is eternally making.
All of creation is only possible because of the Daughter's descent & sacrifice, and this is the 'day' in which it happens - it is also the day in which we are symbolically cut off from the Mother. For Hiatus, then, we cover all images of the Mother and the Daughter - veiling both pictures and statues - and keeping ourselves present in the current moment, instead of planning for the future.

Many also wear headcoverings/veils on this day if they are able to. Some wear black, as in mourning. Prayers to the Mother to save Her Daughter and special chants are especially appropriate today.

May everyone be brought in safety and health to the new year!